books44 585. Beyond good & evil, 8
585. Beyond good & evil, 8
(Myls)We noticed it a few days ago. It rained a little in an unusual manner.
Winds from the west brought heavy clouds that quickly shrunk and vanished into a short rain.
To the west of the garden only lies an endless desert of dry earth and complex sands. It never rains out there.
So it’s weird.
It bugs me.
I told grape about it, but she shared my worry as best as I could have expected.
Her mostly human body drank herself into a merry stupor and invited me to join her.
M – I’ll go take a look with Sän.
G – Have fun!
She saw myself go out of her room with a laugh. She’s a bit annoying at times, but as a self-proclaimed god, she’s one I can like. Zes calls her Dionysius sometimes to mock her.
Outside the main room she lives in, the shades of tree shelter me from the bright sun.
A brisk walk further, I reach the edge of a cliff.
I whistle as strong as I can. In the bright landscape before me and below, Sanïssia slithers her way toward me.
Zes appears on the side, now with long hair over her forehead and shoulders. She holds a bag.
Z – You’re going a little further to see about these distant clouds?
M – Yes. What’s this?
Z – Lunch.
She hands it to me. I grab it. Her smiling face gently begins to show traces of age lately. It’s still subtle but it took her long enough.
M – Thanks...
Z – ... Be careful okay?
I twitch, nervous on how to react.
M – I will...
Sanïssia’s wing stretches to us. I climb on it and run to the top of her head.
I hold myself tight on the saddles that are more here for us than her.
Myûu-ing, Sanïssia rotates and jumps away. The landscape of golden sands and warm air is abruptly replaced by the sea winds and bluer skies.
I soon after let go of the saddle. I prefer to stand on her when we fly together.
M – We’re going after the clouds carrying rain, west of here.
S – Myûu?
M – Exactly.
She heads towards the blazing sky where no cloud usually survives.
Behind us, the home garden is already almost too far to see. It’s not that big once you’re away.
The giant tree seems bigger though every time. It’s not such a thing at all, but seen from a distance, that’s what it looks like now.
The garden grows, and the darker spots of lands at its roots grow as well. Slowly, the desert beyond that dam regrows into fertile lands.
As slowly as it can look when you’re over the horizon already.
Truth is, fields of grass already spread for kilometres around the vineyards and woods, gradually coalescing dirt and complex sand into soil.
~
We flew for a few hours. Out there the world is different. Clouds you can’t see from the ground actually become visible when you fly above. The sea stretches away in the distance. The discarded lands below continue their erosion of grey and earthly colours.
Sanïssia’s body is much slimmer than in her younger age, and more contrasted in colours, but she’s doing well.
Like a biscuit in an oven, the further toward the tips of her wings you go, the darker she is. Her main body is now cream in colour, while her wings are more baked like ravens than sparrows.
It helps her live in these temperatures and different diet. And she’s doing well.
And we’re still best friends, although we don’t travel much anymore. We just live our days a little lazily now that we’re all home.
I’ve seen her roll around in the sand the other day, stretching herself and her wings in the pool of this sand is as light as air almost. She was having a lot of fun.
She makes me a little nostalgic at times. Because I remember the times of screams, pain and terror. They’re so distant now, like they were all a dream. But the wounds from it still stain me, deeply.
I enjoy the peaceful times, I really do. But parts of the old wounds still can hurt and it’s... annoying.
Zes says they’re a part of me now. Just like her missing leg was oddly a part of her. It still itches on her stump sometimes she says... The fact that her leg is back reminds her that she is back, and that her brain still has scars of what happened to her.
It’s only little things thank goodness, but there are a few things she’s unable to process now. She cannot comprehend and solve things like jigsaw puzzles now. Some faculties of abstraction and interpretations are eluding her, lost and never repaired.
And me, I could not resolve to do what Zes suggested me to do, and ask Grape to repair my missing eye.
Z – I’m sure she could, even if it takes some time.
M – I can’t...
I enjoy our peace as much as I can... But parts of us are still fucked beyond repair inside...
~
In my worst nightmares... The thing I fear most... It’s one day to see the magenta sunrise again.
In these night terrors, I collapse and I cry in despair. I panic.
I’m still terrified at the thought of seeing it rising again someday...
I usually wake up in tears and sweat from these.
When I look outside, trying to calm the pace of my heartbeat and breath, all is quiet and at peace.
I hope it lasts.
And I’m scared as soon as I notice something unusual.
Which let’s face it, happens once every two days in this world.
Me going to investigate after these clouds of rain is only the latest of an endless seam of recurring anxiety. Every unidentified sound, glow or tremor startles me and worry me.
The hateful glare of Calamity still haunts me.
A part of her lingers in me.
She never left...
~
S – Myûu!
I wake up from my cold introspection. Thank you Sän...
Ahead, something appeared. A monumental cloud, shaped like a humongous disc or cylinder, darkening the sky.
I see some thunder rummaging through its depth. This small sea may slowly hover over the land or stay still, I’m not sure.
We see the winds circling around it. It’s a kind of hurricane? No, it’s only in high atmosphere and much, much bigger. A cyclone?
This huge meteorological event concentrates everything from the sky into a cloud accumulation so dark it looks like a volume of sea is floating there. And along the thunderstorm that lives inside, it erupts into small clouds that are propelled at higher altitudes into the distance.
A little agape, Sanïssia and I fly around this meteorological event, studying its wonder.
We see the eruptions of waters above, drifting away, some of them surely reaching us as they’re splashed away.
The big question is whether there’s something remotely alive in there we should be warry about.
Carefully, we fly over. It takes some time.
In the eye of the event, all we see lying are cold winds. No weird shape.
I sigh my relief.
A giant storm may be heading our way, but at least there doesn’t seem to be any god involved. What a relief!
We can return home, and tell the others we should expect at least a strong downpour in a few days.
~