books44 Chapter 493 [Empire] Reality
Chapter 493 [Empire] Reality
The pain nearly blinded me. The sounds around me were muffled, and my limbs felt like they were being held down, unable to move. In that instant, my entire body was toppled by the impact of the supernatural power, slamming heavily onto the hard training ground. The ground was cold and rough, and every inch of it seemed to tear at my skin, causing me to feel the pain almost choke me out.
I endured the excruciating pain emanating from deep within my body, trying to stay awake. Every breath felt like a needle piercing my lungs, my entire chest felt like it was compressed into a knot. The air became thinner, the temperature suddenly rose, and my skin was drenched in sweat.
However, even more painful than all this was the oppressive feeling of powerlessness. I wasn't strong enough, not strong enough to resist this attack. The thought brought heat to my eyes, and the urge to cry nearly overwhelmed my reason.
I clenched my teeth tightly, trying to suppress the unbearable emotions welling up within me. To avoid appearing weak, I subconsciously bit down on the inside of my mouth, forcing myself to hold back the tears and anger that surged at that moment. Biting so hard, the contact between my teeth and my mouth began to sting, blood oozing from the inside of my mouth, and a rusty taste quickly spread throughout my mouth.
I could almost hear the sound of my teeth grinding. The smell of blood mingled with the pain, mixed with a slight nausea, but it couldn't distract me. I knew that if I lost control again, I might not even have the chance to continue training. My entire body trembled slightly from the painful stimulation, but I could only endure it silently, swallowing the pain, forcing myself to stand up, forcing myself to continue.
Blood oozed from the wound in my mouth, and the moment I licked it, I felt a strange sense of calm. All this pain, all this unwillingness... but more importantly, I was not fragile. From this moment on, I had to prove that I could endure it.
I felt every muscle in my body screaming in protest, the pain piercing every nerve like countless needles. My breathing became unnaturally heavy amidst the intense vibrations. I could almost hear my own heartbeat, dull and rapid, one after another, as if trying to remind me to give up, to retreat from this fierce battle. But I didn't. Even though the pain was driving me crazy, I knew it was easy to go crazy.
However, calmness is what I really need.
I closed my eyes, forcing myself to ignore the painful impact before my eyes, and to ignore every violent reaction of my limbs. My mind remained extremely clear, and I tried hard to block out all sensory interference, even suppressing the rusty taste in my mouth. Every tremor in my chest seemed to remind me not to move, not to panic, and to take a deep breath, a deep breath -
I have to stay calm.
My consciousness gradually began to focus on one point. My fingers unconsciously tightened into fists, and a trace of cold sweat appeared on my palms. Even in this life-or-death moment, I knew that an impulsive reaction would only make me lose my direction and lose all possible opportunities.
For a few brief seconds, I forced myself to stop thinking about my next move and instead focus on my surroundings. I began to notice the subtle changes: the flow of air, the fluctuations of my supernatural powers, the shifts in my opponent's posture. Every tiny detail came into sharp focus. I didn't rush into action. Instead, I lurked like a hunter, waiting for the perfect moment, the moment the enemy let down their guard.
My breathing gradually calmed, and the tension in my body seemed to ease second by second, but that invisible pressure remained, as if the entire world was pressing down on me. I didn't dare relax, even breathing with extreme caution, afraid that a single mistake would expose my weakness.
"Calm down." I told myself silently in my heart, forcing every cell in my body not to be shaken.
In this battlefield filled with violence and hostility, going crazy will only put me in deeper trouble. Only by staying calm can I make every choice more precise and every action more powerful.
Sit quietly, observe, and wait for the opportunity to act.
Suddenly, my thoughts drifted back to the Capital Planet, to those seemingly easy yet somewhat frivolous days. Back then, I barely bothered to consider my own abilities. Relying on those plants, those energy weapons, and with the help of Nightingale, I managed to scrape together a high-ranking mercenary title. There, I almost always relied on these external forces for support, as if everything could go smoothly with just this "outer layer." I even felt a little lost, convinced that I was already strong enough.
However, upon arriving at the military academy, the sense of a profound change in environment hit me instantly. Here, there were no combat plants to provide constant support, no portable energy weapons. It was just me and my "superpowers." Every time I faced a difficult situation, I realized that without any external support, I was nothing but a hollow being.
Every training session, every competition, left me feeling incredibly utterly utterly utterly utterly hamstrung. Without those convenient tools, I truly felt the depth of my own limitations. Facing the relentless challenges on this cold training ground, I often felt a sinking feeling in my heart. I felt a sense of vulnerability, as if I had been stripped bare, like a tiny insect under a magnifying glass, naked and exposed to the sun.
With every physical training session, every skill competition, I had to admit that my own shortcomings became clear. Without Nightingale's guidance, without the support of the cyan seedlings and transparent vines, I struggled like a lost animal in this unfamiliar land. Though I feigned composure, every stumble, every defeat, left me feeling utterly utterly humiliated.
"This is my own ability." I couldn't help but smile bitterly in my heart, as if I was no longer the small character who only relied on external things, but was thrown into an arena that was more cruel than reality.
I couldn't help but wonder, a little distracted, how had it gotten to the point where I had to rely solely on my physical strength? My mind went blank, and the scene before me gradually blurred. I stood in a corner of the training ground, surrounded by trainees still working at full strength, their sweat dripping onto the ground with a dull thud. But I felt a little out of tune with this rhythm, my eyes drifting off into the distance, as if the world had nothing to do with me.
I once believed I could rely on everything in the world—plants, weapons, guidance from nightingales, even the "help" offered by others. Everything seemed natural, and I didn't even realize how this reliance could lead to laziness and negligence. It wasn't until today, in this unfamiliar environment, that I began to realize my own "blank." Without those things I could rely on, I had to face a more authentic version of myself.
I took a deep breath, listening to my erratic breathing, and forced myself to focus on the training ground from my chaotic thoughts. I began to feel like I was missing something, or rather, trying to avoid something. My original confidence had long been shattered by reality, and all that remained was the forced persistence, even if it meant internal struggle. Gradually, I realized that no matter how I tried to avoid or evade it, this "reality" would eventually force me to face it.
And I seem to have been forced by this world to become more and more real without realizing it.
I have to admit, my physical strength is no match for those cadets who've been raised listening to Imperial war songs since kindergarten. Looking at those tall, muscular classmates, every movement on the training ground is filled with power and fluidity, as if every swing of their arms or leap can rip the air apart, exuding a natural sense of dominance. And me? Standing in the crowd, I look incredibly thin, as if I don't fit in.
With every training session, I felt a pressure they'd never experienced before. Physical fatigue invaded every inch of my skin, and the aching in my limbs seemed to spread from my bones. Every time I pushed myself to the limit, it was the result of my gritting my teeth and persevering—not because of my natural talent, but because of an inner compulsion to persevere.
My physical weaknesses extend beyond muscle and strength. As a woman, I don't possess the same supernatural advantages as men, especially in an environment that relies heavily on physical strength and supernatural abilities. Almost all Imperial military academy students possess some specific supernatural ability. The top students can even unleash extraordinary strength in a fraction of a second. But not only do I lack this innate supernatural talent, the gap in strength is even more pronounced. In every battle, every confrontation, I'm always at a disadvantage physically, and my supernatural abilities are also less than satisfactory.
This reminded me that the Imperial Military Academy never admitted women, and indeed, throughout its history, women are virtually absent. Only in rare circumstances did women have the opportunity to enter this male-dominated battlefield. According to the rules and culture of this military academy, women could never compete with men. This long-standing "unspoken rule" was deeply ingrained in everyone's minds.
I couldn't help but smile bitterly, knowing deep down that those who can gain a foothold here are destined to work harder than others.
The final confrontation was almost entirely Qianmo's. His movements remained steady, his frame as immovable as an indestructible mountain, with barely a trace of fatigue. As for me, I could barely hold on. Every muscle in my body protested violently, and the aching and exhaustion in my limbs forced me to rely on my hands to support my knees, struggling to steady myself.
I lowered my head, trying to stop myself from falling. My breathing became rapid, as if something were pressing down on my chest. Each breath felt incredibly heavy, as if there wasn't enough air. I unconsciously began biting my lower lip hard. The smell of blood spread, reminding me that my body was nearing its limit.
My vision began to blur, and my mind was swept by waves of pain and exhaustion, like a drowning man struggling on the surface, only to be left with the extreme feeling of suffocation. Every deep breath became extremely difficult, and my ribs felt like they were tightly bound by iron chains. The strength in my limbs seemed to be drained away bit by bit, and I barely had the strength to stand.
My heartbeat raced, and a thunderous roar filled my ears. It was as if I couldn't hear anything else, the only thing I could sense was my rapid breathing and the strain on my body. Just as I was about to collapse, I could almost hear my mind screaming, "Stop, stop..." But I knew that stopping would mean failure, and failure would mean everything would be back to square one. I didn't have time to dwell on this. I could only use my last bit of strength to persevere, even though I was so exhausted that I could barely hold on.
That feeling of being out of control, like the helplessness of drowning, rose in my heart bit by bit.
Suddenly, a rapid heartbeat rang in my ears, a roaring sound that made my head feel dizzy. I froze. My heartbeat was erratic, beating as if it was about to burst. The thumping sound was like an approaching warning, getting closer and closer, more and more urgent. I could almost feel my own heart pounding, but it wasn't mine.
My heartbeat grew louder, almost masking my breathing, a clamorous, frantic thud. I lowered my head, still supporting myself on my knees, weakly trying to steady myself. My vision began to blur, and I felt like I was falling into an endless vortex, becoming increasingly unreal. The scene before me gradually became unclear, as if a thin mist had quietly spread, and all the lines began to distort, but the sound of my heartbeat grew clearer and clearer.
Was that "heart pounding in my throat" really the real deal? It was a steady, yet somewhat urgent, heartbeat, as if it were drawing closer and closer, yet I couldn't trace its source. My head was growing heavier, my heartbeat accelerating, and I couldn't help but feel dizzy. That sound was like an invisible chain, tightly entangling my nerves.
I squinted my eyes, straining to listen. The sound of my heartbeat was so clear it was almost terrifying. I didn't dare turn around, fearing the sight of something would cause me to collapse. The air felt oppressive, like a silent cry, rushing towards my eardrums. But the sound wasn't my own.
I tried to take a deep breath, trying to control myself, but the sound of my heartbeat seemed to explode right next to my ears, like a bomb that kept expanding. I clenched my hands tightly around my knees, trying to use this small movement to remind myself to stay calm.
The heartbeat continued, unwavering, like a hidden presence, seeping into my nerves and thoughts, lingering endlessly. My body was still barely holding on, and I knew that if the sound continued, I might really be lost in this void.
My vision began to blur, and my eyeballs seemed to be pulled by some unknown force, becoming slightly warm. A burning sensation spread from deep within my eye sockets, as if a hot liquid were swirling beneath my eyelids, gently and gradually seeping into every nerve ending. I felt a stinging sensation, and even when I squeezed my eyelids shut, I couldn't dispel the encroaching heat.
I don't know when I forgot to breathe, but the air seemed to grow thinner, and my chest began to feel oppressive, heavy as if a stone slab were pressing down on it. My chest rose and fell irregularly, and the air seemed increasingly impenetrable. My breathing became rapid, but I couldn't find relief.
My drowsy consciousness felt like it was enveloped in a thick fog, and my body drifted in this void, light and airy, as if it could be blown away at any moment. My thoughts became empty, and the world around me seemed distant and powerless. The scene before me was no longer clear, and everything gradually distorted into a blur. My hands and feet seemed to have lost feeling and weight, and I almost forgot how I was able to stay upright.
My head felt heavy, the muffled thump of my heartbeat mingling with my body's violent reactions, a chaotic mess. It was hard to distinguish reality from illusion. I couldn't break free from the feeling of floating. The whole world seemed to dissipate along with my consciousness, leaving me with only emptiness and vagueness.
Gradually, I found myself on the verge of losing all consciousness. My eyelids grew heavier, and my breathing became shallower. Every slight ripple made me feel like I was floating in a boundless ocean, my body and consciousness being pulled relentlessly.