books44 Chapter 397 [Empire] Perhaps, it has been broken through before.
Chapter 397 [Empire] Perhaps, it has been broken through before.
"You... also know that I'm a mercenary?"
My voice choked, and I involuntarily avoided Shan Qi's scrutinizing gaze. Although we'd already had several encounters, I'd never mentioned them. Perhaps I was still trying to hide it.
Shan Qi's eyes remained calm, showing no surprise at all, as if he'd known all this for a long time. His calm demeanor made me a little uneasy. "Don't you think I'd know?" His tone was gentle, with a faint smile that made it impossible to refute. "You have a unique aura. Anyone who's been in battle will have some traces of it."
My heart skipped a beat, and my face couldn't help but feel hot. I had thought I had hidden my past well, but Shan Qi had seen through it so easily.
"You're so smart." I tried to hide my complex emotions with a hint of teasing. "No wonder you always see through others."
Shan Qi didn't respond immediately. After a moment's silence, he slowly spoke, "Not everyone can tell what others have done just by looking at their appearance. Often, it's still based on intuition." He paused, as if choosing his words, "But you... you don't look like someone who would be consumed by battle."
I didn't say anything, but a complex wave of emotions surged within me. Shan Qi's seemingly casual words always managed to touch me most vulnerable. I'd always believed I could go further on this path, but his words made me doubt whether I could continue with the same confidence as before.
"Don't you want to be a mercenary anymore?" Shan Qi's tone suddenly became more concerned, and the light in his eyes was no longer cold, but a little more gentle.
"I... don't know either." I lowered my head and sighed softly. "While this job can sometimes bring me satisfaction, it's also filled with too much danger and confusion. Every time a mission ends, I feel a sense of emptiness, as if I'll never find a place to stop."
Shan Qi didn't rush to respond, as if listening to me continue. I felt his eyes become increasingly calm, as if waiting for me to pour out more of my thoughts.
"You may think this road is nothing, but the battles and pain I've experienced have left a mark on my heart." I smiled bitterly, my eyes a little blurry. "Every time I look back at myself, I find that I'm far away from my original self. Many times, I don't even dare to think about how much of myself I have left."
Shan Qi listened quietly, not interrupting me until I finished. He sighed softly. "Everyone has their own choices and paths to take," he said softly, as if lost in thought. "But no matter where you go, remember to stop and give yourself some space to look around. Anyway, you can do whatever you want."
I looked up at his seemingly eternally calm face, and felt an indescribable emotion in my heart. He never forced anything, and he never rushed to give an answer. Shan Qi was like a quiet force.
"Thank you, Shan Qi." I said softly, my voice a little hoarse.
"Don't thank me." He smiled slightly, and that smile was still gentle. "I just did what I should do."
"How long will you stay?"
I looked at Shan Qi, feeling a surge of anticipation, yet also a bit apprehensive about his definitive answer. His indifferent smile made me want to delve into his thoughts, especially his calm demeanor, which always left me feeling a bit unpredictable.
"How long will you stay?" I finally couldn't help but ask, my voice was a little low, but with a hint of unconscious eagerness.
Shan Qi raised an eyebrow slightly, as if he hadn't expected me to ask this question. His eyes darkened slightly, as if he was thinking, and then he smiled faintly. "I probably won't stay for too long." His tone was neither hurried nor slow, and there seemed to be a hint of helplessness in his voice. "You know, my work doesn't allow me to have much time to stop."
I didn't say anything, just looked at him quietly. He seemed to notice my silence and added, "But this time, it might take a little longer." A complex light flashed in his eyes, as if he was hiding something, and also seemed to have a hint of inexplicable alienation.
"Longer?" I repeated his words, feeling a little confused, but more of an indescribable nervousness. Every time Shan Qi said this, I had the illusion that his "long" was just a fleeting moment.
He nodded, a small smile playing on his lips, "Yes, it was brief, but long enough for me to accomplish what I needed to do."
"So what are you here for?" I lowered my voice unconsciously, a hint of curiosity in my eyes. Shan Qi never easily revealed his itinerary or intentions, and every time he appeared, he was filled with a certain mystery.
He glanced at me, with an inscrutable smile in his eyes: "Do you want to know?"
I didn't answer immediately, only remaining silent for a moment. Then, I nodded gently. I wasn't really that dependent on Shan Qi. Even though he wasn't willing to reveal too much and didn't mind keeping his distance, I still longed to know something about him. It was like trying to see through an unfinished painting. Even if I didn't necessarily understand everything, I was still deeply drawn to it.
"What do you think?" Shan Qi's voice was somewhat provocative, yet gentle.
I narrowed my eyes, feeling somewhat resistant, but still replied with a slightly provocative tone, "You mean, if I say I want to know, you'll tell me?"
Shan Qi smiled slightly, but his expression didn't waver at all. "Of course." His eyes seemed to hold some deep meaning as he spoke. "But maybe you don't really need to know. Because you'll find that many times, the truth of things isn't as interesting as we imagine."
His answer left me somewhat bewildered and a little irritated. What on earth could have kept him so calm and composed? It was as if he was deliberately hiding something, or perhaps he simply didn't care whether he was understood or not.
"You always like to keep people guessing." I whispered helplessly, my eyes slightly shifted away, but my heart was still stirred.
"Guessing is fun." Shan Qi's smile remained calm. "It's also a game of wisdom, until you can understand it."
As I looked at his familiar face, a complex mix of emotions gradually emerged within me: a touch of reluctance and an unspoken irritation. This conversation hadn't revealed much, and instead, it had sown new doubts within me. This uncertainty, a microcosm of our delicate relationship, inadvertently stirred further turmoil.
"Shan Qi, you're very interesting." I sighed softly, a hint of helplessness in my tone, yet a hint of reluctance to continue arguing with him. Shan Qi was always so calm and composed, as if everything was under his control, while I seemed to be forever dancing to the rhythm he set. Intentionally or unintentionally, he always made it impossible to fully understand him, and even made me want to escape.
When he heard this, instead of showing any pride or provocation, he smiled faintly, his eyes revealing a hint of gentle concern, as if he had never truly considered bickering with me, or perhaps he was already accustomed to this delicate distance. "You're quite interesting, too," he said softly, with a gentle smile. "Unlike other people I know, you're always so easily caught up in your emotions."
This sentence left me stunned. Yes, I know I can be impulsive and easily emotional at times, especially when I'm with him. I can't help but want to explore the depths of his heart. However, his words made me reflect on whether I was too eager to understand him, or even trying to force him to reveal something he didn't want to say.
"What about you?" I couldn't help but ask, my tone suddenly becoming serious. "You're always so calm and methodical, but don't you have any emotions or impulses of your own?"
Shan Qi's gaze fell quietly on me, and there seemed to be a moment of silence. Then, he smiled faintly, a harmless curve at the corner of his mouth. "Of course, everyone has been impulsive. But sometimes, staying calm is to better control the situation, rather than letting emotions dictate decision-making." He paused, a complex look flashing in his eyes, and then he added softly, "Besides, impulsiveness always has a price."
I lowered my head, a brief silence lingering. He was right. However, Shan Qi's calmness seemed ingrained in him, his every move imbued with an inexplicable ease. Like a meticulously choreographed play, he always reacted at the right moment, avoiding all unnecessary risks. Meanwhile, I always seemed to inadvertently reveal too many emotional fluctuations, like a fragile glass ball, ready to shatter at any moment.
"Then don't you think," I raised my head and stared at him, "that your calmness is too much, and it makes people feel a little difficult to approach."
Shan Qi's smile persisted upon hearing this, with a hint of teasing in his eyes. "Maybe, but I prefer not to be easily seen through by anyone." He paused, as if considering his next words. "You know, sometimes maintaining a certain distance is better for everyone."
I didn't respond, just staring at him, a sudden, inexplicable feeling welling up inside me. Perhaps he'd never truly needed to rely on anyone, and we, the rest of us, could only speculate, shrouded in mystery, about his true thoughts. That sense of distance, somehow, felt particularly profound in him, like a barrier that could never be completely broken, separating his inner self from the outside world.
"I understand," I finally said, my voice low but sincere. It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps Shan Qi's calmness wasn't just rationality, but rather a form of self-protection. And I couldn't break through his seemingly casual, yet incredibly strong, defense.
No, maybe, I have broken through before.
Shan Qi looked at me, a gentle glint in his eyes. He didn't say anything more, just parked the hovercraft, reached out to pick up the documents inside, and continued to deal with his affairs.
And I just sat quietly by the side, but an inexplicable emotion arose in my heart for no reason.