books44 Chapter 384 [Empire] I Want to Leave
Chapter 384 [Empire] I Want to Leave
The afternoon sun slanted through the windows, and the air seemed to carry a faint sense of dullness. I wandered aimlessly through the streets, my steps weightless, like a wandering spirit, weaving through the crowds. Those familiar sights, the buildings, the faces, no longer seemed a part of me. I walked through familiar streets, yet felt no sense of belonging, as if this city had nothing to do with me.
I didn't bother to trace where I'd been, what I'd done, or even my destination. I simply walked mechanically, as if every step wasn't mine, and my thoughts seemed shrouded in an impenetrable fog. It wasn't until I returned to my apartment, opened the door, and stood by my bed that I suddenly realized the meaning of it all had vanished without a trace.
The bed was soft, like a massive black hole. The moment I lay down, I was sucked in. I didn't have the energy to think much more, not even to process what had happened today. Was I home, or was I just seeking temporary refuge from exhaustion? Exhaustion washed over me like a tide, and I closed my eyes, quickly falling into dreamland. It felt as if even breathing had become weak, everything was hazy, and only a sense of emptiness filled my chest.
And so, sleep slowly engulfed me, taking away all my thoughts and perceptions. Even late into the night, I still hadn't managed to escape this void, unable to figure out what was left of me in this city, or rather, in this world.
When I opened my eyes again, I was greeted by Wen Ya's face, etched with deep worry. He sat beside the bed, his gaze anxious yet gentle, as if he were watching me, watching me slip back into a coma at any moment. His brows were slightly furrowed, as if he hadn't completely relaxed yet.
Beside him, Miyou held the bear. The little wax figure's gaze was empty, yet tinged with a silence that seemed unearthly. Her gaze remained vacant, as if she had lost all sense of direction. The candle bear was now flameless, the faint light that had once flickered on it completely extinguished, leaving behind only the cold wax, like a lifeless object, lying quietly in her arms.
At this moment, my heart tightened. The candle bear's flame went out, and I wondered what that meant. Its flame had once been Miyou's hope, perhaps even the source of her and the bear's "life force." But did its extinction today symbolize something else? Could her existence still be preserved, or was this just a temporary pause, signaling the end of her story?
Wen Ya's voice broke my thoughts: "You finally woke up... You scared me." He whispered, his eyes showing unconcealed fatigue and worry. Then he looked at Mi You and sighed slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't say it.
"How is she?" I finally couldn't help asking, even though my voice was a little hoarse. Miyou still didn't respond, sitting there silently holding the bear. The candle bear didn't seem so important anymore, instead, Miyou herself was the focus of everyone's concern.
Wen Ya sighed softly, a complex emotion flickering across his eyes. "She... looks like she's stagnant. Perhaps it's because the flames have died out, but you don't have to worry too much. At least she's not a threat now." He paused and continued, "However, Miyou needs time to understand all this. At least, she's no longer frantically triggering the black mist." His voice lowered, filled with helplessness, "But you're right, we still don't know exactly what her condition is."
I looked at the little girl in the bed, feeling lost. She and the bear had once seemed so central to this chaos, and now, all the flames were extinguished: not just the bear, but also a part of her. Could she ever recover, could she ever rekindle the light that belonged to her?
"You need to rest." Wen Ya gently touched my head, her tone soft, but revealing a helpless concern. "No matter what, there are too many things to do today. You don't need to keep thinking. Rest first."
I wanted to respond, but the words faltered. I didn't have the energy to think any more. I just wanted to lie on the quiet bed and enjoy a moment of peace. Even so, the confusion still lingered in my heart, unable to dissipate.
I held Wen Ya in my arms, just like that, without saying a word.
A warm silence filled the air, as if this brief moment had slowly swallowed up all my anxiety. I hugged him tightly, feeling his warmth and the slight trembling in his body. His arms slid around my back, gently hugging me back, as if offering a silent comfort. And I simply leaned against him, quietly, as if I had found a haven to rest temporarily.
His heartbeat was so clear and steady, syncing with my breathing. Gradually, my anxiety and uneasiness began to fade. The feeling of hopelessness and confusion seemed to be enveloped by this warmth, temporarily losing its meaning. I closed my eyes and gently pressed against his shoulder, feeling the gentle rhythm of his breathing and heartbeat, and realizing I was no longer alone.
Time seems to have frozen. I don't want to think about those complicated emotions, nor do I want to worry about the future. Now I just want to immerse myself in this moment of peace and security, even if it's just a brief moment, it's enough to let me breathe.
Wen Ya's hand gently stroked my back, as if trying to comfort me. However, I didn't say anything, and I didn't need him to say anything. The tacit understanding between us, without words, was enough to express everything. I just wanted to lean on him and put aside all my burdens for a while.
"Are you okay?" Wen Ya finally asked in a low voice, with a hint of worry in her voice.
I nodded gently, took a deep breath, and felt the peace in his arms. "I'm feeling better," I finally said softly, my voice almost inaudible.
He was silent for a moment, seemingly lost in thought, before finally patting me on the back. "No matter what, I'll be here." His tone was firm, though without much promise.
I thought, maybe that's enough.
In this moment of tranquility, it seemed as if all confusion, pain, and worry could be temporarily put aside. I hugged Wen Ya tightly, closed my eyes, and felt a sense of peace. Even if the world remained complex, at least in this moment, I knew that no matter what lay ahead, I was no longer alone.
"Wen Ya, I want to leave...leave the capital planet." I leaned in his arms, my voice so low that it almost sounded like I was talking to myself.
Wen Ya's body stiffened slightly, and I could sense his momentary nervousness and confusion. His hand paused on my back, as if he wanted to create some distance, but he stopped at the last moment, still holding me tightly.
"Why... do you suddenly think so?" His voice was low and full of concern.
I didn't answer, simply closing my eyes. My mind was blank, with only that thought swirling around in my head. Leave, go somewhere far away from all my worries, somewhere without all the complicated emotions, responsibilities, and pressures. A place where I could breathe again.
"It's too heavy here," I finally said, my voice choking. "Everything is too heavy... I feel like I'm losing myself more and more in this place. Every time I try to move forward, something invisible holds me back, pulling me back so I dare not take a single step. Wen Ya, I don't want to be entangled by these things anymore."
Wen Ya did not respond immediately, but just hugged me silently. I could feel a struggle in him. Maybe he wanted to say something, but didn't know how to start.
"You know... I don't want to worry you either." I continued softly, "But I always feel like I'm lost in this city. My past, my identity, everything I've done, are like invisible chains that bind me. There's no future here that I want, only those invisible shadows."
I raised my head and met his gaze, a mixture of unease and determination in my eyes. "Wen Ya, perhaps I'm destined to never truly belong to anyone here. Even I don't know who I'm living for. Is it for responsibility, for others, or for myself?"
He stared into my eyes, as if trying to discern something, but I knew I didn't have any clear answers. It was just that the thought took root in my heart, growing stronger and stronger, forcing me to face it.
"I understand." Wen Ya finally spoke. His voice was unusually calm, as if he was trying to calm himself down. He lowered his head and gently kissed my forehead. "If this is what you want, I won't stop you."
I froze, a dull pain in my heart. "You...really not going to stop me?"
He looked at me with a calm expression. "I won't stop you from pursuing your own path, even if it's filled with uncertainty and unknowns. I understand why you chose to leave. You've lived for others for too long. You should give yourself some space to think and walk your own path."
He paused, then hugged me tightly and said, "But no matter where you go, I will always be by your side."
I felt an indescribable emotion permeate my heart, a mixture of pain and relief. Wen Ya's words were like a heavy burden suddenly lifted from my heart. Yet, I still felt hesitant, even a little sad. Because I knew that leaving might mean parting ways with him forever.
"You really don't regret it?" I asked in a low voice, my voice trembling. "Are you just going to let me go?"
"What I regret is not that you left, but that I didn't make it easier for you to leave sooner." Wen Ya's voice was low and firm. "You don't have to force yourself to carry anyone or anything. If you are tired, rest and find a place that belongs to you. You deserve this kind of freedom."
I could sense the sorrow in his words, but also a deep understanding. His tolerance and understanding, like warm sunshine, illuminated my confusion. Perhaps this was what I needed most.
"Wen Ya..." I murmured softly, and the guilt and reluctance in my heart gradually surged up in my heart.
"I will always wait for you, no matter how far you go." He lifted my chin and looked at me, his eyes full of determination and tenderness. "Whenever you need me, I will always be by your side."
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and felt a sense of relief and liberation I had never felt before. Perhaps this moment was my true beginning.
"Thank you, Wenya." I finally spoke, my voice a little hoarse, "Thank you for understanding me."
Wen Ya didn't answer, just hugged me tightly. He didn't ask if I was really leaving or when I would be back. Because he understood that some things can't be solved by forcing them. I finally felt that at this moment, I was no longer alone.