books44 Chapter 200 [Empire] Hunter
Chapter 200 [Empire] Hunter
In the early morning, I slowly opened my eyes, my consciousness gradually returning. He was still sleeping peacefully in my arms, his slightly furrowed brows as if telling of the grievances he had endured the previous night. I gently loosened my hold, afraid to wake him.
Because the room was sealed shut with tarpaulin, there was no outside light, and the surroundings remained shrouded in darkness, save for the faint yellow glow of the oil lamp. I quietly watched the flickering flame of the lamp, my mind racing. It had been raining for days, but now the clamor of the rain had faded, seemingly quieter. But in this enclosed space, I still couldn't tell what was happening outside.
I began to reflect on my actions last night. Why had I lost my mind and bullied him so? He was so pitiful, so helpless, and yet I was only concerned with my own desires. Obviously... he wasn't my puppy... The dim light seemed to silently condemn me. Why had I... acted so impulsively?
But if I were to truly express anger or regret... there really isn't much. It's just a faint melancholy that lingers, lingering for a long time, refusing to dissipate... Even the pain of forced separation and the anxiety over the uncertain outcome have eased somewhat... It's just melancholy. An unresolvable melancholy. I guess there's nothing left for me to dwell on, nothing to force, right?
I don't know if it's the lights or what, but the view ahead is hazy. It's like I can't see the road anymore. It's like I no longer need to know whether there's a road or not...
Ask yourself, who is he to me?
No, he is nobody.
Is he my contractor? Is he my husband?
No, he is nobody.
The contractor was a temporary one. The husband was the one Yang Ruyuan wanted to marry. It wasn't me who married him, nor was it me who grew up with him.
None of this has anything to do with me. Just like he has nothing to do with me.
I don't know who in this world is really relevant to me.
Who is that person who has absolutely nothing to do with Yang Ruyuan and is only related to Lingzhi?
I live on everything connected and woven by the identity of Yang Ruyuan, yet I despise it. I despise everything, despise myself who has to accept my fate of being "arranged" to become Yang Ruyuan.
Why on earth should I be that ridiculous Yang Ruyuan instead of myself!
But am I not Yang Ruyuan?
Without Yang Ruyuan, would there be me today, still existing and alive?
I don’t know…
She lost everything.
I got everything from her, but I have to live under her framework and shadow for the rest of my life.
Who lost it, and who gained it?
I don't understand.
She couldn't figure it all out...
Even though she was powerless, even though she resented me, even though she...
After all, I am not her, and she is not me.
I think I'm bad enough. I've always been bad enough. Enjoying everything that clearly doesn't belong to me. Feeling at ease. Feeling at ease, as if this is how it should be.
Enjoying...those who are supposed to love others, love me.
Peace of mind.
I seemed to have separated out another self, standing aside and looking at this self.
The newly differentiated self just watched and watched, and sighed.
Her world seemed to consist only of herself. Everything else seemed to be just a backdrop or props...
She was so lonely, so stubborn, so lonely, and so alone in her love for herself. Only herself...
It seemed as if her heart couldn't find anyone else's. In fact, it was difficult to get close to her either. Yet, she, too, possessed a unique love for her beloved. That love was shadowy, so thin that even she herself couldn't grasp it steadily. Yet, at any moment, it would suddenly explode, gushing forth, erupting. With a scorching heat capable of nearly destroying everything, it expanded, oppressed, and devoured...
It's a hunter-specific rhythm.
Lock on, lurk, and hit with one strike.
Yet, more often than not, it's: fire, aim, and then prepare. Hahaha, that sounds confusing. But it perfectly aligns with how the human brain works. Dopamine desire circuits directly trigger impulses, and once the impulse is triggered, it's carried out with unwavering force. Later, some other mechanism will naturally clean up the mess, providing a logically plausible explanation. Hahaha. That power is powerful and dazzling, utterly magnificent. A sweeping force, a savage force, a captivating force.
Charming hunter.
Although most of the time, every pore on her body looks like prey...
Look, this is a hunter. A natural born hunter.
Yet I vaguely felt as if I were crying. It was my heart that was crying.