books44 Chapter 75. Longing for idols
Chapter 75. Longing for idols
Chapter 75. Longing for idols
The first time Rosette felt uncomfortable was when she started staying away from brothers and talking to other people.
Resette had been wearing cute clothes and accessories as her brothers told her to, but she had never been interested in them. While other girls her age were happily admiring each others dresses, she could only vaguely smile, unable to fit in.
She thinks dresses with a lots of frills and ribbons are cute. But she doesnt like to wear them because its hard to move with them. She could only look at them, but couldnt reach to them. She always felt there was a gap between her and other aristocratic girls.
In the end, she couldnt find any more meaning in dressing up rather than thinking it as a duty.
Girls like pretty things. They dont like insects and reptiles. They dont think a field of blooming wildflowers is beautiful, and they dont admire brightly colored poisonous mushrooms. They dont want to wear unpolished gemstones, no matter how pure they are.
The more Rosette learned about these girls and the princesses, and dream they have, the more distant she felt they are from her.
Fortunately, her appearance was close to everyones ideal of a princess, so it was easy to live up to their expectations by following their example.
However, slowly, over time, the Rosette she knew and her surroundings became disconnected. She never felt sad about it and gave up sooner than she expected because she knew she had no choice.
But then she realized that the only thing floating in her mind was the desire to be a Rosette that was not ideal.
Even though she was aware of it, she couldnt stop it, neither could she change it.
And she herself didnt want to stop, or wanted to change.
She sometimes felt suffocated by hiding herself, but she also feared that people would know about it. Even though she never wanted to give it up, something that truly makes her feel.. herself, she still wanted to keep her desire.
She knew that one day would come when someone would be aware of her secret somewhere in her heart, she expected it.
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Rosette had only spoken to her a few times, but she knew all the rumors and impressions that surrounded her. Even though it was only made in their mind, they still believed it to be true that she was an excellent lady.
Rosette, who knew nothing of the facts, was one of those who saw reality in such illusions.
A moment of fear. Knowing that she had been discovered, she was impatient and irritated. It was Violette who was at the other end of her fear, but she was not the reason for why Rosette was afraid.
Irritation is a gap. It is a weakness that comes for instantaneous. It is an illusion that, for a brief moment, can derail your priorities.
Rosette was irritated, she had been so caught up in her imagination that she forgot Violette was a person too and that she may have expose her secret. It was too late when she realized what is regret.
She was scared, horrified, she didnt want anyone to know her secret. Just imagining the look of disillusionment on her(Violette) face made her body tense. The future of how people would scorn at her made her feel terrible.
She knew that the images in her brain were just a fantasy.
Whatever you are attracted to, it is your choice.
However, what left her(Violette) mouth wasnt scornful words, it was something that Rosette never dreamed of.
That was probably no consolation or comfort in her words. It was just indifference, and she(Rosette) knew that she was not worthy of her(Violette) concerns.
With her(Violette) gaze, all the fear in Rosettes heart was removed. The fact that she(Violette) cared for her or didnt feel disgusted by her(Rosette) choice made her heart flutter. She could not turn her eyes away from the strong desire to see if the figure that was moving away from her would look back at her.
The essence of irritation and fear that had been with her always, slowly faded away. It made Rosette finally give up all the hesitation. The true power of gravity that had been hanging over her so naturally that she had forgotten how bothersome it was. Now, she felt like all the pressure had gone away like a wisp.
She was intensely attracted to her(Violette). She was afraid to reach out her hand, but she wanted to touch the figure. She just wanted to get close to it. She put away the dream, an illusion, something that was not true, on the back of her mind, and focused on the present, on the figure that was moving away.
Rosette came to realize, she knew for the first time, that was what longing is.
T/N: I have a feeling that .this novel may turn out GL. If it does.then Im dropping /angrybird